SO MUCH MOM GUILT THIS WEEK - QUESTION??

It's been so different this week, taking time off, resting, and just getting stuff done. Tomorrow I think I will start on the stack of papers in my office.... It is beyond hideous... All the bills and crap I have paid and when I see the pile... My face does this lol

BUT one thing I enjoyed today was doing these experiments with Shawn... Sometimes he is stubborn (like me) and sometimes he is right lol!

Helping him with Legos is a dousy because I MAKE him watch the instructions and follow them and count before he places them.. He is used to winging it. But I make him follow it. When we finishes it, he is beyond proud. I love seeing him light up.

Can I be real for a sec.?

I feel like I missed alot of times like today because of work, and don't get me wrong... I have to work, but if I must admit... I really don't want to lol. I have worked everyday of my life since I was 16 with NO breaks in between and to have this time... It is a blessing.

Today... I have such mom guilt for missing memories, because he is my only one... He turned 6 on the 21st and it is hitting me today that my boy is growing up so fast.💔

My prayer tonight is that I hope he knows that I would do anything I could for him, I hope I show him he is my everything, and I hope he knows that I love him with everything I have... Even though I am not always there.

Going to admit that it totally freaking sucks that it takes two incomes to make it these days... And while I know it is the times... I still don't like it. Lol 😒😒

So today I feel kind of down... Happy too... Happy that he was so joyful today, but down that I see what I have been missing. 😞

So tomorrow I will cherish another day with him and going forward before I head back to work in December... Going to soak this up like never before my peeps... Because this is a HUGE blessing and prayer answered for me! 💜 💜

If you are a working mom, do you ever feel mom guilt too? 🤔

Rebecca MillerComment
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAWN - HOPE YOUR DAY IS GREAT!!

So today Mr. Shawn turns 6!!! He is the absolute best kid ever! His mommy and daddy love him so much and are so proud of who he is becoming! He still is the most funniest kid ever and he lights up my soul!! My little fireball!!

I have shared in the past that I never wanted kids, because I didn't think I could do it or have the patience for it. Shawn has totally changed that for me. When I finally decided I was ready to have a kid, I was still full of doubt that I would be a good mom. Every day Shawn pushes me to be. He brings something out in me that was never there. It is good, it is love, and it is joy.

When I look into his dark green eyes, I have a love for that child that is so deep that I would do anything for him and I would protect him from everything I can. He has no idea how much he is truly loved by his mommy and daddy. ❤❤

He brings so much happiness to us and we wouldn't have it any other way.

We love you Shawn and I hope your day is filled with fun, happiness, and love! ❤❤😍😍❤❤

(He says he wants to be scientists one day so we got him a microscope for his birthday... Can't wait to see his reaction!!

Rebecca MillerComment
ALOT HAS HAPPENED THIS WEEK, BUT...

A lot has happened this week, but GOD IS GREAT!!!

I lost my job on October 11th of 13 years and I was shocked, but not surprised. It has been slow, but I kept plugging along. It was sad to see more than half our staff leave, but it was all part of God’s plan. I know I usually try to post at least 3 posts in a weeks time, but I have been praying, having interviews, and meeting new people.

I wasn’t unemployed long because in just 2 days, I got 3 crazy job offers, but only ONE was the perfect one! How was it perfect? I am getting family time while I get paid and that means I get to be there for Shawn’s Halloween party, Polar Express trip and actually don’t start activities until 12/1/19! I mean I am BEYOND blessed right now and the best part…it is within 15 minutes of my home. I was driving 2 hours a day before so that means less travel time for me to my family.

I will be doing the accounts payable, receivables, and payroll for a company in Teays Valley along with helping them with their rental properties. I am beyond grateful for some sense of security too, and the new adventures that comes with showing these properties.

I am very fortunate to have THIS opportunity because I prayed for close to home, I prayed for some time off too! LOL Soooo God took care of both. They always say…ask and you shall receive!

I am totally doing what makes me happy!!!

Guess what…I made THIS post before my first interview went down, and I shared this:

What makes you happy? 🤔

Is it how your child giggles?

Is it how your spouse makes you feel special when they hold you close?

Or is it your silly pet acting strange but you don't care... They are your bestie. Lol

Whatever makes you happy... Do more of it... Often!! 💜.

Last night Shawn was all snuggled up close and while I was freaking out at 2:30 am - my mind woke me up... His little hand gripped my hair and he breathed deep... Almost like... There is mom... I got her... I am ok and can rest easy.

All while I am thinking seriously??

How am I supposed to roll over with a handful of my hair in your hand😳😬😳😂🤔??

Come to realize I need more ahhhh moments like that, because I overthink more than I should, and Rebecca just needs to chill the heck out...

So remember me today... A meeting is coming up that I am nervous about... Shouldn't be... But totally am lol #nerdlifestruggles, #hatechange

Just remember Rebecca, to think of what makes you happy to calm yourself down!!

HOW AMAZING is that God worked all this out for me!! I totally believe in miracles, don’t you?

Rebecca MillerComment